Can't call Telia? Well, call Telia.

We got rid of our landline in Sweden, just have prepaid mobiles and a mobile Internet flatrate. We got the quarterly bill for the flatrate, and they have a 200 SEK (20 €!!) charge for using it in Germany.

Now, I don't use it in Germany. I wanted to see the data on when this was supposed to have been, so I went to the web page and tried to log in.

• The password and user name I have noted don't work.
• My personnr doesn't work. Sweden still has a problem with using this as a key for all databases and to look up address information, because the programmers think that personnr are things all human beings have. Wrong. Only Swedes living in Sweden or foreigners who have a permit to live there that have been there over a year have them.
• Even thought the web site says that you can use the bill number, it says that there is no such bill with this number.

Fume.

There is a telephone number, so I try and call via Skype. First attempt - hangs up. Second attempt: Please press 8 for English. Great! I press 8. It continues in Swedish.... I hang up, try again. Press 8 for English, it continues in Swedish. What do I want? I try to ask for what I want in Swedish. Pardon? I repeat. "I'm sorry, I can't understand you, please call back." Click.

Fume.

I dig around until I find a service E-Mail. I try and explain my problem and ask them to call me on my Tele2 pre-paid (since the call is only free from Telia pre-paids). I write that I cannot reach their toll-free number.

I get an email saying that they have received my letter. Good. 2 days later I get an automatically generated letter (this takes 2 days??). "Please call our toll-free number for more information!"

So now I have to find a telephone booth in order to clear this up. Normally you spend 20 minutes in the queue, I normally just let it say "Don't hang up" while I do something else. Imagine spending 20 minutes on hold in a telephone booth.

But Telia dismantled the telephone booth in our village. So I shall have to drive 30 kilometers to the next Telia store. Wanna bet they tell me to call the toll-free number?